| artificial fakeness |
Oct. 29th, 2009|07:26 am |
Sometimes I wish I was making stuff up. I recently saw the new condiment "Neutrasweet Pink" the other day. Now as far as I can tell, this is a product made with one kind of fake sugar (aspartame, aka "the Blue sugar") that is designed to taste just like another kind of fake sugar (saccharine aka "the Pink sugar") for those people who I just just love the taste of saccharine but don't want to the negative health effects associated with artificial sweeteners? Seriously? Is that what America's scientists are spending their time on? Creating substitutes for fake sugar?
I also saw an ad in Metro the other day touting how this bus driver had driven over 2 million miles in his career without getting into a single crash. Some very trivial math implies that this dude has been averaging 2,000,000 / (30x40x50) = 33 mph down congested DC streets for the last 30 years! It's kind of nice to imagine this crazy person careening through DC in a runaway bus for 30 years, but I bet the more likely possibility is that Metro is totally making this number up because they figure no one in Washington is capable of doing division anymore. |
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