| checking boxes |
[Mar. 6th, 2009|11:30 am] |
On thing I'm really good at is checking boxes. If there's some task that requires just sitting down and beating your way through it, I'll get the job done. But my problem is that there is a giant step between just doing something and achieving success in that field. I'm really good at 'doing things', but I'm awful at being 'successful' at them. For example, a number of people I've talked to about my comic seem surprised to learn that I don't earn enough to make a living off of it. It's as if they think just producing something automatically makes it popular and successful. In reality, I haven't sold a single item of comic merchandise in over a month. Same with my novels. While I can put enough words on a paper to make it technically count as a novel, that doesn't mean anyone wants to read them. It's probably been six months since I've sold a single book. Or my law school web site. I get people writing me all the time saying that I must be getting straight As in school because I actually did the reading, but it doesn't work that way. People tell me that it must be really easy for me to get a job since I've got all those degrees, but that's not the case either. You don't even have to be smart to get through school. All you need to do is just sit there and pay attention. There's an ingredient missing for me somewhere. I really need to figure that out sometime soon.
On the other hand, I was walking down the street the other day and I realized I'm pretty happy with who I am right now. I know I complain a lot about all sorts of different things, but I'm more satisfied where I am in life right now than I've been in a long time. We'll see if that feeling lasts.
And that guy singing on the subway that I mentioned before? The other thing I meant to ask was, what did he think was going to happen? Is he hoping that someone out there riding to work will see him singing and say to themselves, "I was really on the fence about this whole Christianity thing, but that guy's singing has really made me believe, Go Jesus!" Maybe the singer was just trying to convince himself of his devotion. |
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